Smitten: Noah's Ark

Discovered recently in an ancient archeological site near to
http://www.zoocity.info:

The 400 holy pilgrims had escaped the evil persecution of the pharaoh
Taliban, ruler of their homeland Afghanistan, led by a small, yet
brightly lit 10 year old girl named Moses. They travelled far, and their
trials were many, and all thought they were lost when their Indonesian
Fishing Grail was tragically lost at sea, thus condemning the worthy and
devout believers to a watery death.

However, just as they collectively went to take their last gasp, a
saviour appeared. Noah O'Donnel, son of a hebrew slave bitch and the
pharaoh Norway arrived at the helm of a giant ark. It was clear that
this was an ark of God's own design, for it was coloured red and, yea,
was truly huge.

Noah used the whale harpoons he carried with him at all times to bring
the 400 faithful aboard. He stood in front of them, surrounded by a
strange halogen light, and proclaimed, "I will take you to the promised
land. A place where the sons and daughters of pharaohs, slave bitches,
mongoloids and all manner of God's creatures will be welcome. A place
that preaches the religion of multi-culturalism and embraces all of the
Lord's children in a loving grip".

A man at the back climbed a shipping container, raised his voice and
asked the servant Noah a question.

Noah replied, "Yes, even midgets".

For four score years of cropless harvest, the ark did speed on its way
to the Promised Land. Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Christmas
Island, the entrance to the Promised Land, they were greeted by St.
Ruddock. The glowing grin on his face revealed him to truly be one of
His servants.

The pilgrims genuflected themselves before St. Ruddock and proclaimed,
"We have journeyed far to be embraced in your loving arms. We have
fasted and sacrificed our young to appease your Lord's wrath. May we be
welcomed through the gates to the Promised Land".

The St. Ruddock straightened himself to all of his 5 feet in height and
proclaimed in a Godlike voice, "Lawd?!?! what? do youse mean Johnny?
Naaah, he says fuck off".

And, yea, it was written, that so he should, for the Lord preaches that
'Afghanistanian hicks should stay with the Taliban, 'cause it can only
be better than living with Aussie hicks'