Blogger Enemy Numero Uno

I do hope no-one has ever used that title before. The blog world is in uproar. The injustice! The gall! The sheer humanity! The blogosphere is primed and ready for this latest affront to the "unwritten rules of blogging". They have pitch-forks, pitch-spoons, torches and the batteries for them. Blogistan goes to war on plagiarism. Call the UN, call the Americans, take France off the speed dial. We going to war. WAR! The violence will be horrific. The death toll may be in the billions. Not since the great loser debacle that was Athens 2004 (oh wait, it's still on? Seems like years ago) has a group of Australians shown their true colours.

This reminds me of the time I found an essay online on Kubrick. It quoted a review I had written for A Clockwork Orange. There was no mention of me. None. My ego nearly snapped. Then I read the essay was for Film Making 101 at some community college. And the guy had passed. I felt good. I had contributed to someone else's success. An act unrewarded is more rewarding, in my view. Not to mention I now have a Film Making 101 diploma by proxy. Oh, how my friends are jealous of that!

But that was really my user who thought that way. Chas is a different kettle of fish. Chas is ready for the battle. Chas will enlist with the first enlistment officer to ask Chas to enlist. Chas will fight like he did in his excellent dream last night, where the cats had mysteriously escaped the house and the mystery was solved when a burglar was discovered taking the hinges off the doors and then a fight ensued and despite being stabbed by a seringe with unknown psychadelic drugs in it, Chas still fought the burglar, but mostly "off-screen" as it was clearly a G rated dream and the burglar was taken away by the police who looked nothing like police and may have been in league with the burglar, setting up a sequel, but the psychadelic drugs seringe was still in Chas' leg and he realised it was a dream and realised that it was now lucid and Chas could control the entire universe for a couple of minutes so he floated to the top right corner of the room and woke up. Point is, Chas is a soldier and Chas will fight the war against People of Blog Plagiarism (PBP) which doesn't have the same ring as WMD but if he says it enough maybe CNN will run with it.

The first step is always to name such a worthy endeavour, or crusade, as I like to call it. Perhaps The Coalition Against Copy Catting or The League of Anti-Plagiarists or The Crusaders For Intellectual Property or Blogger's Jihad against Word Duplication or Comrades of What's Mine Fatwah or Media Watch or Pompous Gits Versus Godzilla or Chas versus the Hinge Removing Cat Letting-outering Cops and Robbers of Doom or Aussie Alarmists Angered And Alarmed At Alotof un-Authorised Alteration, plAgiarism And Aliteration Response Group or AAAAAAAAAAAARG, for short.

PS: Please plagiarise this post. I have even less readers than Caroline and I could do with the lack of publicity a complete lifting would provide. Except for when people remember the AAARG bit and type it into Google and this post comes 30 or 40 and the really bored people would come and visit my site and be the first people ever to make it to page 40 of a google search result and win some kind of medal and a prize and kudos and a gmail invite from me. If you are going to steal this, make sure you cut and paste and don't just type it in from a print out or something like that, cause you will get the number of As in AAAAAAAAAAAARG wrong, which I probably did already. So you can change the number of As to the right number, if they are wrong and if you are going to steal this post, which you won't now 'cause its gone on too long and changed tone and tense and doesn't really make much sense but does have that bit about the cat leterouterer and stuff, so maybe. What?